Balin's Little Adventure
by TheCapnMonMon
Summary: Balin visits Bilbo and they go to a bar. Nothing fancy, I wrote it for an English assignment and my teacher really liked it.


J.R.R. Tolkien owns all... I'm just sharing what I wrote as an English  
assignment my freshman year.  
  
Balin's Little Adventure As Balin was sitting on the stump of the tree he had just cut down with his axe, he became even more anxious. He had gone out into what could almost be considered a small forest outside of the dwelling he had built. Using some of his one-fourteenth of the treasure, he bought the land on which his abode stands, and then some. The other elves were still nearby, but he still liked having a little privacy for himself. He cut down the trees on the land that he could use, and all the dwarves (sans Fili, Kili, and Thorin) came over to help build it. When it was complete, they had their first grand dinner in there, singing song of the young ones and their departed leader.  
  
Now, all of the dwarves had their houses built (or rebuilt in some cases) and were having their own grand dinners. Balin, as all the others had done, had even gotten new cloaks and hoods. That was all well and good, but Balin was always waiting for another adventure. The closest he had gotten was chopping a tree halfway, taking a nap, and finishing the rest rather quickly when he woke up. Now he sat on the stump of the fallen tree, sighing to himself. He missed it, in some odd way, how the treasure hunting had made everybody willing, and even excited, to do dangerous tasks in hopes of great rewards and treasure.  
  
He sighed again, watching the sun move across the sky. They already got the treasure. The adventure was over. He may as well have been a hobbit, now that he had no adventure and got in no trouble.  
  
"Perhaps I'll go visit my good hobbit friend now that he's assuredly as bored as I am." Balin began to feel anxious at the thought of seeing his old comrade. "He said that we would be welcome at any time, and now is as good a time as any." He walked to town to rent a pony for his journey, passing a donkey and cart rental center (that obviously just started, for he had never seen it before) called 'Hauling Ass'. "Clever name," crossed his mind as he walked into the establishment he would get his mode of transportation from.  
  
* * *  
  
RAP TAP-TAP-TAP! Bilbo set his tea on the table, and went to answer his door. "Balin!" Bilbo saw one of his most favored comrades from his journey in his doorway. As Bilbo invited the dwarf in, he got a cup and plate for Balin to drink tea and eat some seed cake. Manners were forgotten, except for a 'please' and 'thank you' every once in a while, as old friends conversed warmly. Formalities weren't needed for those who had survived death together.  
  
"You are in good heath I assume." Balin took the cup and plate offered to him and sat in the armchair facing Bilbo's.  
  
"Well, other than having a slightly larger shadow, I am the same." Jokingly, he commented, "It seems my foot pains have diminished shortly after my return home." Bilbo sipped his tea while Balin chuckled, knowing how hobbit's feet are like shoes in themselves.  
  
"My dear hobbit-friend, I must admit, despite our aches and scrapes, our rewards were worth it."  
  
"The adventure was enough for me, but at least I always have food for guests who may drop by." Bilbo picked up a seed cake, setting his empty teacup aside. "Speaking of which, may I ask why you came for a visit?"  
  
"Well, I decided it has been too long since you and I had some fun together."  
  
* * *  
  
"A bar, Balin? We walked all this way to go to a bar?"  
  
"Best ale in Middleearth! Besides, my hobbit-friend, this would be the time to impress the females with all your daring deeds."  
  
"I don't know..." Bilbo sighed, knowing his luck with women wasn't too good, hobbit or otherwise. Then again he hadn't slain a dragon before the last time he talked to any female, hobbit or otherwise. (Well, he actually just found out there was a missing scale, but it resulted in the slaying of Smaug nonetheless.) Lost in thought, he did not know he had entered the bar with Balin until...  
  
"Girls, do my eyes deceive me? I do believe Bilbo Baggins just walked in!"  
  
"Bilbo Baggins?!"  
  
"He's so cute!"  
  
"Did he really sneak past a whole ARMY of GOBLINS?!"  
  
Before Bilbo knew what was happening, women of almost every race in Middleearth surrounded him. He was sat down at a table and a mug of ale was placed in front of him. Balin wormed his way through the small crowd and managed to sit next to the mildly shaken hobbit.  
  
"Tell us about the dragon Smaug!"  
  
"Yes, was he terribly vicious?!"  
  
"Was he horribly ugly?!"  
  
"Girls! Don't crowd the poor hobbit!" Balin cut in. "He wasn't the only on who went on the journey."  
  
"Oh, come off it, Balin. Bilbo wasn't the one stuffed in a bag and almost eaten by trolls. We'd like to hear Bilbo tell the story!" The other girls muttered their agreements. Balin was getting even more irked. Not only were they not paying any attention to him, they were mooning over Bilbo, of all people!  
  
"Come on, Bilbo, let's go have a few drinks at a more respectable establishment!"  
  
"Bu' Balin, we're jus' 'tartin' ta 'ave some fff-fun!!" Balin looked at the table, and the three empty mugs.  
  
Bilbo was drunk.  
  
Not only was he drunk, but also, those... broads were encouraging him!  
  
"We were righ' there, tha' dragon circlin'," Bilbo got up, pulling Sting out from under his cloak. "I knew where ta hi-hi-hit 'im. I pulle' back-" Bilbo raised his sword.  
  
"No, Smaug was killed by the black arrow, don't you remember?"  
  
"Balin, Bilbo is in the middle of a story, be respectful!"  
  
"An' then," Bilbo advanced drunkenly on Balin, "I striked the bugger down!" Bilbo struck Balin across the stomach with Sting...  
  
...and Balin woke up.  
  
His axe lay in the tree still, while his yard was now dark with night. "I must have been more bored than I thought..." Balin stood, wiping the grass off his cloak. He went inside and sat down, drink in hand. "Still, I do wish to see my hobbit-friend sometime..."  
  
As he sipped him beer, many travelers passed in front of the house, reflecting the fire of the lanterns lighting the roads. One particular cart made him look again, pulled by a donkey, the writing on the side perplexing him.  
  
'Hauling Ass.' 


End file.
